“God Doesn’t Want Me To Be Unhappy”

I have heard this statement more than once, and largely in the context of a wife desiring to leave (divorce) her husband. Where exactly does such a thought arise? I find it not within the writings of Scripture, so who then is the author of such?

First, I would like to take a look at the central word, which is interestingly “Me”. Now, I may be going out on a limb here, but usually when a person centralizes their thoughts upon self they are considered to be self-centered. A synonym for self-centered is selfish, meaning “devoted to or caring only for oneself; concerned primarily with one's own interests, benefits, welfare, etc., regardless of others.”

Now, I am not going to assume that everyone (or anyone) that claims this line of reasoning, when considering the idea of divorce, may not have a legitimate reason for separation from their spouse (though Biblical justification is very limited and seldom adhered to), but I do believe this says more about their spiritual condition than it does of the marital condition of why they feel justified in leaving.

If by chance, there were such a teaching as “God Doesn’t Want Me To Be Unhappy”, how exactly would that work toward a family? For a moment, let us consider this analogy a bit:

Husband + Wife + Children = Family

Wife (or Husband) wants out and claims “God Doesn’t Want Me To Be Unhappy”. They are finally awarded a divorce, and apparently (but probably not) find happiness in it.

Has the Husband (or Wife) and Children found happiness also, given only the desires of the other to leave the Family has been granted? Does not God want the other spouse and children to be happy also? What child is ever happy at the divorce of their parents? The logic simple does not add up.

Honestly, I don’t find the teaching “God Doesn’t Want Me To Be Unhappy” anywhere in Scripture. What I do find is God telling us that we will find joy in obedience to Him. To look and desire joy outside of the Word of God is to enjoy the pleasures of sin but for a season. Remember sin is any transgression against the law of God (both internal and external acts).

When one entertains the thought of divorce (or any other act) one must first examine their personal relationship with God. Are we in tune with the Spirit and adhering to the Word of God, or have we simply placed “ME” in the center of all that is and have just become selfish in our thinking?

Though we may think we are making our future happy by putting asunder what God has joined together, happiness for ourselves, our spouse, and our children is not what will be found.

As I once heard a pastor say, “If one would put as much work into the marriage as they do to get out of the marriage, most likely the marriage and happiness could be restored to the entire family.”

There is one truth to “God Doesn’t Want Me To Be Unhappy” and that is God has given us Scripture whereby to live our lives, and has sent His Son Jesus Christ that we might be forgiven of sin and be given eternal life. When we reject His Word and/or His Son, there is no true happiness to be found.

4 comments:

ashley said...

No offense but this article post seems very simple minded. Just because marriage is a religious ceremony, doesn't mean the wife/husband has to suffer in a marriage that would make both the spouses miserable. Their relationship really doesn't have anything to do with how ' tuned' they are into god, but how they are with each other. It sounds as if you are condemning them for not being able to make a marriage work. Not everyone is the brady bunch.

Struggling said...

Are you saying that a wife who wants to escape her drunken, violent husband is not 'in tune with the Spirit'?

How many children do you know who are unhappy because they no longer have to witness their parents fighting and experience physical violence towards themselves and their mother? Is it selfish to put your own childs wellbeing before yourself or your husbands?

What do you mean by 'adhering to Gods Word'? God said a lot of words in the Bible...many of them not so pleasant. How do we know which ones to adhere to?

You mention that Biblical justification is seldom adhered to...do you ever wonder WHY??? The bible is full of 'justifications'...a lot of which are rather barbaric in nature and divisive. Any caring, thoughtful and loving human being would not adhere to many of these.

Don't you sometimes think that you could do a better job than God and assure that everyone is as happy as possible...just as you would your own child?

I often wonder if we really are made in Gods image...I think I'm a much nicer person.

Struggling said...

Are you saying that a wife will not be happy if she leaves her drunken, violent husband and that if only her 'spritual condition' was better that her marriage would be better?

Have you met any children who are unhappy because they no longer have to witness their parents fighting and experience physical violence toward their mother and themselves?

How do we know which of God's words we 'adhere to'? He said an awful lot of things...a lot of which are rather unpleasant, devisive and even barbaric.

If I were God, I'd want everyone to be as happy as possible, just as I would my own child.

Do you often wonder if we really are made in Gods image? I think the majority of us are more loving, caring and thoughtful beings than our Maker...perhaps we have evolved.

Writer, Splinters of Silver.com said...

Ashley,

“Their relationship really doesn't have anything to do with how ' tuned' they are into god, but how they are with each other.”

Actually, most if not all, Christians are married by a pastor or preacher, usually in a church, and commit themselves to one another by vows, acknowledging that they do this before God, family, and friends. Remember, this site is written by a Christian, to other Christians, where the Scripture is the authority of such living, and when we as Christians choose to simple say “God Doesn’t Want Me To Be Unhappy” to justify our wanting to get out of a marriage without any Biblical ground, that is clearly in rebellion to a proper relationship with God.


Struggling,

You may have read a little more into the post than what is actually there. You make the mention of a “drunken, violent husband” and “fighting and experience physical violence”, but my post is related to the idea that the one (which happened to be the wives I heard it from) simply wanted out of the marriage (not because of drunkenness or violence) because they claimed they just weren't happy anymore (for whatever reason, to find themselves, or as if they have been perfect and the other has not). But, the thing is, they went even further than simply claiming they wanted to be happy by incorporating God into their desire, claiming He didn’t want them to be Unhappy, and, in fact, He wanted them to be Happy, apparently regardless of the husband and children that would also be affected by their choice.

You ask me, “You mention that Biblical justification is seldom adhered to...do you ever wonder WHY???” The simple fact is that anyone that claims to be a professing Christian could not do so without [1] putting faith in Christ and therefore [2] trusting the Scriptures whereby we know of the Savior, so the claim a Christian does not need to adhere and observe Scripture concerning their desire to seek divorce makes no sense. That would be like a mechanic claiming he does not need the instructions to repair a vehicle, they’ll just do what they want to do, especially if it makes them happy.

You say, “If I were God, I'd want everyone to be as happy as possible, just as I would my own child.”

Here is my question to you then. You claim you want “everyone to be as happy as possible” so if you have a husband, wife, and children as a family. One spouse (husband or wife) decides they would be happier not being married (there is not violence, etc. just simply wants out). The husband and children want the family to stay together, so how will everyone be happy?

FYI: I would be a little cautious comparing yourself to God, unless you claim to know Him on a personal basis which also exceeds Scripture revelation.

Thanks for visiting…